Žemľovka

More info. I counted at least 5 different types of sugar.

What:

• 600g+ stale bread rolls or rohlíky
• not much milk
• 4 eggs
• a shitload of apples
• 250g quark
• 50g butter
• Traditionally raisins but fuck that dried cranberries fit so much better
• Sugar (snorting quality)
• Sugar (vanilla)
• Maple syrup
• One plastic bottle
• Rum (optional if you're a pirate)
• Lemon juice (optional, only if you plan to cook tomorrow)

How:

We're making this layout:

bread rolls
apple shreds
bread rolls
filling
bread rolls
snow

If you are able to plan anything in this day and age, soak cranberries in some rum the day before. Get them shitfaced. Peel the apples, shred them, mix with maple syrup and add some lemon juice to preserve them in the fridge.

Now (present), break some eggs, use the plastic bottle to start a race war by separating whites from yolks.

Dipping:

Mix milk with 3 egg yolks and some sugar. Cut bread rolls into tiny wheels. Dip them and place on the cooking tray. Faster: spill some dip on cooking tray and throw some bread roll wheels on it. Cover with apple shreds. Then maple syrup. Layer with bread wheels.

Filling:

Mix 1 egg yolk with quark, cranberries, a bit of butter and some sugar (boring one and the vanilla one). Layer with bread wheels. Dip them only on the bottom side.

Crust #1

Melt the butter by playing some Enrique Iglesias. Don't overdo it. Mix it with sugar and dip top sides in that to make it crunchy.

Bake in oven for 45min, 160°. Meanwhile make snow.

Crust #2

Layer snow atop of the thing, bake for another 15 mins.

Done, enjoy it cold or hot.